Tila Lee

Hey Kort!

My name is Tila and I am a disabled DIY & design dork. I've been a long-time enjoyer of your work and am also a Canadian who is now living in America, with her husband, establishing a new life and a new way forward.

I have been through a LOT of SHIT, but nothing compares to the diagnosis and coming to terms with the need to identify as disabled.

A few years into my trades/business career as a 24 year old, I took a fall off a ladder, and crushed my L1 vertebrae. I didn't fall from very far, but they suggest that my existing scoliosis contributed to the injury's severity.

I spent a few months in a brace and was sent on my merry way without a clue as to how this would affect my health in the long term. The "insurance" we were told we had in this franchise turned out to not even pay the bills WHILE I was unable to work, but also refused to cover anything years later when my diagnoses was discovered.

Within a few years I was at the Dr all the time for pain in various areas and to various degrees. I did test after test and the conclusion was always the same: "We don't see a reason why this level of pain is occurring".

One day after ruling dozens of things out, my Dr. had an epiphany I guess and did some poking at some trigger points on my body and said "You have fibromyalgia". We had also discovered during these tests that I now had 3 spots of arthritis in my spine. The fibromyalgia is brutal enough to deal with, but the combination is KILLER.

As I mentioned, the insurance wasn't going to do a damn thing, so I had to go about my life acting as if I was a normal person now with often extreme levels of chronic pain.

What my Dr and I did together was make a plan to manage symptoms mostly naturally, and prioritizing REST and STRESS became my top priorities.

In the quest to improve my rest, I dove in to the effects that my home could have on my ability to recharge and inspire. I had always been interested in design, but never was able to put my cool pieces together well, or nail my particular style.

I started by revamping my entire place (the cutest basement suite) and then started doing my friends', and then - things snowballed quickly into a full blown design and build business. Not super great for those STRESS levels.

Everything came to a head in 2023 and I had to take a step back (shut down the renovation business), as well as re-think the way that my painting business operated as well (It is now education and community for women looking to enter and/or thrive in the trade).

I needed to face the reality of my new life head-on and accept the limitations of my life that were going to be present now for the rest of my life. I needed to focus on building a new life that helped people but also helped manage my health. At this time, my immigration had been approved to move to America with my husband. A fresh start, completely blank slate (so long as I could actually let go of the old life).

What makes things more difficult on the daily is that because people cannot SEE this disability (and no one really understands why or what it is), they are quick to disregard it. Or they see that I did some cool things, so surely that must mean I am fully able and capable of doing anything. It takes a long time of knowing people for them to get just a glimpse of how it runs my life, and even then, they can only try to understand. I spend every day doing or not doing things to manage my pain, and if something goes wrong, I can be out for hour, days or weeks in excruciating pain.

It is just in 2024 that I decided to embrace the term "disabled" and use it in my life in hopes that maybe people can have a fuller understanding of who I am and why I do the things I do. I also feel like I need to disclosing this not only for myself, but for the entire disabled community. Disability comes in many forms, and it NEEDS to be a conversation.

I also decided that I am on a mission to teach others that design/diy doesn't have to be difficult. I spent years teaching myself design and nerding out over getting the details right, and often incorporate thrifted and vintage pieces in my work. I think too many people think design needs to be difficult or expensive, but you can even thrift pieces in your own home, and turn them into something new that fits with your new vision/palette/style quite easily. DIYing your home improvement projects has never been easier either, with all of the information available on the internet, and I have a goal to provide people with information to empower them to take on their own projects or be more successful at managing their own trades. (I have created my own YouTube channel where I will be discussing details of my old trade as well as others, and I have a few episodes of me taking over people's spaces to show them how easy it can be)

I would truly be so honoured for the opportunity to speak with you on your new podcast! I have been so inspired watching your "comeback" and have been just so thrilled to get a glimpse of the new life you have built for yourself.

This would be the first time I am publicly speaking out about my disability, and I feel like it would be so helpful to get it out into the air "officially". My site and socials are currently a bit out of date, but you can find *some* more background info there. Do let me know if you have any questions! :)

Sincerely,
Tila Lee